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Chat-up lines used on girls
1. My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!
2. I think I'm in heaven because you look like an angel. Can you take off your shirt so that I can check for wings?
3. (lick her arm) oh we'd better get you out of those wet clothes.
4. I love every bone in your body, especially mine!
5. hey baby whats your sign
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chat-up lines used on blokes
1. I'll give you a nickel if I can tickle your pickle...
2. naughty boy get to my room!!!
3. Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
4. Hi, I'm a horny slut looking for a good time!
5. Roses are red, violets are blue, I like YOU, so let's go screw!
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AINT IT THE TRUTH
1. If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In the Kitchen
2. I need not suffer in silence while I can still
moan, whimper and complain.
3. When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit.
But not nearly as gratifying.
4. When everything's going your way, you're driving in the wrong lane
5. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
6. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
10. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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come-backs to crap chats
1. Man: "So, what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
2. Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason."
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up chicks!"
3. Man: "I would go to the ends of the earth for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"
4. Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yeah, and this one will be too if you sit down."
5. Man: "how do you like your eggs in the mornin' babe?"
Woman: "unfetillized."
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10 THINGS YOU SHOULDNT SAY IN BED
1. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
2. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
3. Is that you bleeding or me?
4. This would be more fun with a few more people..
5. It's nice being in bed with a someone I don't have to inflate!
6. That better be from the waterbed!
7. Did I remember to take the pill?
8. You're good enough to do this as a job
9. Is that blood on the headboard?
10. ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz
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TOP 10 'YO MAMA' JOKES
10. Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
9. Yo mama so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
8. Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
7. Yo mamas so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
6. Yo mamas so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
5. Yo mamas so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
4. Yo mamas so fat she's on both sides of the family!
3. Yo mamas so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
2. Yo mamas so fat when she back up she beeps.
1. Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold chocolate on the other side just to get her through.
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